i have this friend, his name’s jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family’s had it ever since
now we call him “got a cat” jamal
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
i talk a lot of shit for someone who’s scared to make a phone call tbh
Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:
I want that to be the final line of my biography.
let’s not forget about this gem from macbeth
and, of course, from henry v
ah, the leeks.
Guys are we forgetting Titus Andronicus or
did shakespeare just make a ”your mom” joke